Don't Cry for me Falkland Islands

It's very easy,

And it's not strange

When I tell the world how I feel!

My country's in ruins - 

It's bankrupt, you see,

I've spent the money,

I need a distraction

Away from me

Now where can I turn my gaze?

The Falklands, across the sea

I really need those Islands,

I need their oil!

I must make a scream and a fuss! 

I will make up some stories

About how it is ours!

Go to the UN

And see if they will support my cause!

I hope they are on my side

Or I will start some wars!

Don't cry for me Falkland Islands!

The truth is, I want your oil!

I care not 'bout the people;

Their referendum!

I want the Islands

 For their resources!

And as for Francis, now that he's pope,

I think I will sucker him in!

Although in the past I've hated his guts - 

He will be useful!

He's a brilliant solution 

For my evil plan

The answer was here all the time

Jorgé the re-ligious man!

Don't cry for me Falkland Islands!

The truth is, I want your oil!

I care not 'bout the people;

Their referendum!

I want the Islands

 For their resources!

I always say too much;

There's plenty more I can think up to say to you!

Rewrite our nation's history

And make the world think

Every word is true!

© Carolyn Davison 29th March 2013

Molar

I went into the room and I sat in the chair

Where the dentist said I thought that I had told ya

T-O-L-D told ya

He walked up to me and said open wide

I looked very scared, even more when he cried MOLAR

M-O-L-A Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I'm not usually one to cry

But when he brought out his pliers there's a tear in my eye

Oh my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I closed my eyes and clung to his hand

And wouldn't let go, like a rubber band

Oh my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well he pulled and he pulled with all his might

Under his electric light

He asked for assistance from the guy next door

Who said "It might be better if she lay..."

I'm not usually someone to moan

But when I looked at those pliers, I felt a loss for my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

I jumped out the chair

I ran to the door

I slipped to the floor

I got up on my knees

I looked at him, and he at me

I like my tooth and I want it to stay

And really I want it to be that way for my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

I like my teeth and my teeth like me

It's just the way I really want it to be

for my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I had a pain the week before

And I can say it ain't bad anymore.

The dentist smiled and said "You'll be fine,

I missed the molar, took out a canine!"

I looked in the mirror and saw the gap

Went away, still a happy chap

For my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar etc...

© Carolyn Davison 25th March 2013 (lyrics)

Me singing it (sorry it goes out of tune and strange in some places *blush* )

PLEASE NOTE if you do sing this to the tune of Lola the copyright doesn't belong to me!

Choosing a new pope

Eeny Meeny Miney Mo
Choose a pope
Who won't say no
Choose a pope
Who won't make noise
One who likes the altar boys
Choose one good
And choose one fair
Mainly one with grey hair

Nonsense poem about a rocket

The rocket,
It went to the moon
The rocket,
It was sent up too soon.
The astronauts sat
With a dog and a cat
And ate honey from a plastic spoon.

The rocket,
It flew up too high
The rocket
passed the moon by.
It was going too fast
That the fuel wouldn't last
The astronauts started to cry

The rocket
It landed on Mars.
The rocket
Had gone way too far
It set down on red soil
Their food started to spoil
The asronauts wished they were tars*

The rocket,
Now sits in the sand
The rocket,
Is definitely unmanned
The astronauts stayed
Til the end of their days
This really was not in their plan

*old name for a sailor

© Carolyn Davison 4th January 2013

Don't you just hate it when...

Don't you just hate it when you start to talk

And someone or other interrupts?

It can be frustrating, annoying as well

As the chat ends so abrupt!

You can be telling the person 

About your fine day or

About the flowers you grew;

But someone will jump in and

Say something different

Before your sentence is through!

Don't you just hate it when you start to watch

A programme on your TV screen

And someone or other changes the channel

It's enough to make you scream!

You can be watching a scene 

Which you find so exciting or 

Crying at an item of news;

But when the channel is changed

For something inane

It leaves you feeling not amused!

© Carolyn Davison
21st December 2012 

The 12 Days (plus one) at Eton

On my first day at Eton mummy sent to me

A spanking new brolly

On my second day at Eton mummy sent to me

2 approved mouth guards

and 

a spanking new brolly

On my third day at Eton mummy sent to me

3 pairs of hangers

2 approved mouth guards

and 

a spanking new brolly

On my fourth day at Eton mummy sent to me

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hangers

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my fifth day at Eton mummy sent to me

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my sixth day at Eton mummy sent to me

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my seventh day at Eton mummy sent to me

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my eighth day at Eton mummy sent to me

8 pairs of undies

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my ninth day at Eton mummy sent to me

9 collar studs

8 pairs of undies

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my tenth day at Eton mummy sent to me

10 swimming towels

9 collar studs

8 pairs of undies

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my eleventh day at Eton mummy sent to me

11 personal items

10 swimming towels

9 collar studs

8 pairs of undies

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my twelth day at Eton mummy sent to me

12 pairs of grey socks 

11 personal items

10 swimming towels

9 collar studs

8 pairs of undies

7 white school collars

6 handkerchiefs

5 gold cuff links

4 swimming trunks

3 pairs of hanger

2 approved mouth guards

and

a spanking new brolly

On my thirteenth day at Eton  the bank manager phoned mummy

and said:

Are you sure you can afford the fees? (£64,134 per year)

© Carolyn Davison
11th December 2012 

I'm good - Really?

I'm so good

I'll go to heaven.

Without God's

Eternal Son

Look at my Life

At what I am

And all the things

I've done.

I've given money

To Charity

I've helped in 

Charity shops

I've not told lies

I've not stolen a thing

Now I cannot stop.

My virtues show

Those around

How brilliant

I have been.

I've never watched

Anything bad

And nothing

Too extreme.

I've never taken

A person's life

I've never looked

At someone's spouse

I've never hurt

An animal

Not even a 

Tiny mouse

I go to church 

Each Sunday.

I sing with 

All my heart.

But then I 

Feel so sleepy

When the sermon

Starts

I don't know

Why I need God,

Because I'm 

Good, 

You see.

I think I'll

Go to heaven

On the works

I've done - 

That's me.

But heaven is the dwelling place

Of God and His Son

To gain entry there 

Isn't based on what YOU'VE done!

It doesn't matter if you're 'good' 

God sees inside your heart.
He sees your motives, lusts, desires

And who you really are.

He sees those times

When you have taken

That extra break in work.

Stealing time from your employer,

The duties that you shirk.

He sees those times when you covet things

And wish they could be yours.

He knows what you are thinking

And saying behind closed doors.

He sees the hatred in your heart,

The evil thoughts you think.

He knows about those tiny lies,

Whether they're white or black or pink.

Why do you think you'll get there

On the things that you've done?

When all those sins you deny

Have been cast upon His Son

Christ has done all the work:

Lived the life we cannot live!

He died a death we deserved

And our sins He does forgive.

You cannot buy your way to heaven.

There's nothing you can do,

'Cept rest and trust in Jesus Christ

He gave His life for YOU!

 

© Carolyn Davison

 Written 26th November 2012