Don't Cry for me Falkland Islands

It's very easy,

And it's not strange

When I tell the world how I feel!

My country's in ruins - 

It's bankrupt, you see,

I've spent the money,

I need a distraction

Away from me

Now where can I turn my gaze?

The Falklands, across the sea

I really need those Islands,

I need their oil!

I must make a scream and a fuss! 

I will make up some stories

About how it is ours!

Go to the UN

And see if they will support my cause!

I hope they are on my side

Or I will start some wars!

Don't cry for me Falkland Islands!

The truth is, I want your oil!

I care not 'bout the people;

Their referendum!

I want the Islands

 For their resources!

And as for Francis, now that he's pope,

I think I will sucker him in!

Although in the past I've hated his guts - 

He will be useful!

He's a brilliant solution 

For my evil plan

The answer was here all the time

Jorgé the re-ligious man!

Don't cry for me Falkland Islands!

The truth is, I want your oil!

I care not 'bout the people;

Their referendum!

I want the Islands

 For their resources!

I always say too much;

There's plenty more I can think up to say to you!

Rewrite our nation's history

And make the world think

Every word is true!

© Carolyn Davison 29th March 2013

Molar

I went into the room and I sat in the chair

Where the dentist said I thought that I had told ya

T-O-L-D told ya

He walked up to me and said open wide

I looked very scared, even more when he cried MOLAR

M-O-L-A Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I'm not usually one to cry

But when he brought out his pliers there's a tear in my eye

Oh my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I closed my eyes and clung to his hand

And wouldn't let go, like a rubber band

Oh my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well he pulled and he pulled with all his might

Under his electric light

He asked for assistance from the guy next door

Who said "It might be better if she lay..."

I'm not usually someone to moan

But when I looked at those pliers, I felt a loss for my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

I jumped out the chair

I ran to the door

I slipped to the floor

I got up on my knees

I looked at him, and he at me

I like my tooth and I want it to stay

And really I want it to be that way for my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

I like my teeth and my teeth like me

It's just the way I really want it to be

for my molar, mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Well I had a pain the week before

And I can say it ain't bad anymore.

The dentist smiled and said "You'll be fine,

I missed the molar, took out a canine!"

I looked in the mirror and saw the gap

Went away, still a happy chap

For my molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

Molar mo-mo-mo-mo- molar

mo-mo-mo-mo- molar etc...

© Carolyn Davison 25th March 2013 (lyrics)

Me singing it (sorry it goes out of tune and strange in some places *blush* )

PLEASE NOTE if you do sing this to the tune of Lola the copyright doesn't belong to me!

Choosing a new pope

Eeny Meeny Miney Mo
Choose a pope
Who won't say no
Choose a pope
Who won't make noise
One who likes the altar boys
Choose one good
And choose one fair
Mainly one with grey hair