My Grampy's Pet

A long time ago
When ships had sails
My Grampy was a sailor
Sailing from Wales

His father before him
Sailed the wide blue
In ships full of young
Enthusiastic crew

My grampy sailed to the African Coast
And picked up an animal
That was finer than most

He was oh so tiny
His fur was so black
His eyes were so doleful
Nothing he lacked

My grampy brought home
That beautiful boy
Nurtured and cared for him
Like a special new toy

But that tiny monkey
Just grew and he grew
Until he was so big
My grampy didn't know
What to do

So he put round his neck
A thick steel chain
To stop him from running away
In the rain

But the creature grew so strong
It snapped every link
And bit my dear grampy
Oh! What to think!

My great-grandmother cried
"This thing is a killer!
How could you bring home
A massive gorilla?

"You must let him go
I can bear it no more
Please take this animal
Out of the door!"

"OK dearest mother!"
My Grampy replied
"I will send him off!"
"Oh good!" she sighed

"But please do not hurt him
I don't want him to be
In terrible pain because of
Your foolery!"

So great granny went out
To bring in provisions!
My grampy had to make
An important decision.

How to get rid of that
Creature so black!
To Africa he couldn't
Take the boy back

So he went to a neighbour
And borrowed a gun
And shot that poor creature
Who weighed half a ton!

The moral of the story is
Do not bring back
Cute little creatures
So tiny and black

They may not be 

What you expected at all
Like the big black gorilla 

Who was 6 foot tall...

©Carolyn Davison

Apparently so the story goes - my grampy DID bring back what he thought was a cute little monkey who grew up to be a massive male gorilla. The creature bit my Grampy (in the neck), broke his chain etc! 

My grampy and is brother apparently shoot the poor animal while their mother was out - they cleaned up the house where they shot him before their mother came home and told her the gorilla didn't feel a thing!

Whether this was just an adventure story made up for his kids and grandchildren, I don't know - my grampy was a character - he died in 1990! (He did have a scar on his neck)

He used to play for Shirley Bassey in the pubs before she became famous! (I wonder if she remembers him...) He played banjo (and I think guitar)! Cool guy with a great sense of humour!

Elvis' Songs Story

OK, not technically a poem, but here it is all the same:

As I walked in the ghetto one day there was trouble when I stepped on someone's new blue suede shoes and tripped over their hound dog! A guy yelled across the street and said,

"Hey little sister, don't be cruel, you got a wooden heart?. If you keep that up it's a matter of time 'til ya unplugged!"

I have to admit that I was all shook up and felt like I had a fever on my brow.

"You don't know me," I shouted back, "I'm not the devil in disguise. A fool such as I doesn't mean to do those things. It's just too much that you think I'm cruel. I feel so bad and I beg of you to treat me nice. How do you think I feel? I just can't help believing that I've got a lot of lovin' to do. I have a feeling in my body that I have to surrender to you! I am wondering, are you lonesome tonight? I gotta know!"

"Lawdy Miss Clawdy, a little less conversation. You're a heartbreaker so I've heard! I got stung once before by way down in the bar called Blue Moon of Kentucky! In good ole Nevada! Viva Las Vegas is all I can say!"

"But it's now or never! I am paralyzed by your gaze, just don't have blue eyes crying in the rain. I'm doin the best I can under the circumstances. I am looking for fame and fortune, but also a guitar man who is playing for keeps. Reconsider baby or else I may have to stay in heartbreak hotel and you wouldn't want that!"

"That's alright mama, my happiness is a good luck charm to me - I don't need no one else, little darlin'!"

Sentimental me - that's who I am! I guess it would have been a one sided love affair anyway! Poor boy, it's him who's missing out! If I can dream then where's the harm in that? I guess he will be always on my mind! I have one broken heart for sale now because I was trying to get to you and be in your arms! I thought I was the one and you would love me tender! Such a night of romance we could have had! But instead you would rather be at home with old shep! I'll hold you in my heart and never return to sender. The wonder of you makes me think that any place is paradise!

"The lady loves me!" He said turning to his girl, "but she's not you - Phew!" he said looking at his woman! "I'm left, you're right and she's gone and as long as I have you, let me be your teddy bear!"

His woman was a girl of my best friend. I had such a night of sadness and a mess of blues! Oh well I was trying to get you, but now you've lost that loving feeling I will have a blue Christmas and be solitaire forever!

Copyright Notice

The right of Carolyn Davison to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988

No part of this blog may be reproduced, by any means nor must any of its content be displayed on a website without prior permission from the author.

When the Lord Speaks

I wanted to have a career
I didn't want to be at home
I wanted to be like other women
So all I did was moan

I wanted to have a big house
I wanted my own car
I wanted lots of holidays
To countries, near and far

But the Lord in all His tenderness
One day, took me aside
And said - "My dear daughter!"
These I can provide

"But I didn't call you to go out to work
To have your own career
I wanted you at home so that
You'd have time to draw near

"My Son is building a house for you;
A mansion in the sky
You do not need these worldly things
You're the apple of my eye

"So come dear daughter, the one I saved,
Your life is fulfilled in Me.
I will love and provide for you
Throughout eternity!"

So now I see God's plan for me
Is to serve Him in my home
I have a peace all over me
And now I never moan

©Carolyn Davison (6th June 2008)

Oh Dearie Dearie Me

The week just gone - in rhyme...



Oh dearie dearie me

What have I gone and done

I've eaten so much junk this week

I could eclipse the sun.



I started off really good

With my RC Solo Slim

Sticking to the dieting plan

Not quite hitting the gym...



Then it struck, the other day

A migraine I had

I haven't stopped eating guff

I feel really really bad



2 packs of crisps at lunch time

2 doughnuts for my tea

A myriad of other things

What's happening to me?



I've just polished off a box

Of M&S Mini Mince Pies

If I gain weight next week

It won't be a big surprise!



Where has my self discipline gone?

Why is it so hard

To stick to a menu!

I'm really really baa'd (not sheepish though)



OK tomorrow I'm at a friends

So Tues it will have to be

Starting on the Solo Slim

And working through my DVD's (exercise ones of course)...

©Carolyn Davison 2011

Written 20th November 2011

Welcome to Avon

Fun poem to welcome the new Avon President (2011)

[Scott Schlackman]

Welcome to Avon
President Scott
I think you'll agree
We're the best of the lot

We love to raise money
For various things;
By selling pink ribbons
And empowerment rings

We sell 'round the doors
Of our local 'hoods;
Ordering and selling
Some wonderful goods

From lipsticks to make-up
Shower gels and creams
We can't get enough,
Or so it would seem

We hold Avon parties
In houses or pubs
To boost our businesses:
Which we all love

Some of us even
Recruit for our teams,
So more and more people
Can access our creams

So we warmly welcome
You, to the UK
And say altogether -
"How ya doin' today?"

©Carolyn Davison April 2011

The 12 Days of Badman's Christmas

Some of you may remember this man - Badman - he wanted to change Home education forever with the most ridiculous proposals! I wrote the alternative version to the 12 Days of Christmas!

On the 1st day of Christmas Badman sent to me -

a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 2nd day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 3rd day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

3 CRB checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 4th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB checks,

2 Social Workers,

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 5th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB Checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 6th Day of Christmas Badman sent to me

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB Checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 7th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 8th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

8 Registrations,

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB Checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 9th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

9 Ed Advisors,

8 registrations,

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs

3 CRB Checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 10th day of Christmas Badman sent to me:

10 dodgy curriculums,

9 Ed Advisors,

8 registrations,

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 11th day of Christmas Badman sent to me

11 Government Policies,

10 dodgy curriculums,

9 Ed Advisors,

8 registrations,

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC;

On the 12th day of Christmas my shredder came to me so I shredded:

11 Government Policies,

10 dodgy curriculums,

9 Ed Advisors,

8 registrations,

7 UN Charters,

6 LEA Guidelines,

5 controlling things,

4 UNCRCs,

3 CRB checks,

2 social workers

and a Handbook on Modern PC!

©Carolyn Davison 2009

Remember Remember

I remember remember the fifth of November;

The kids on the corners with guys!

They'd ask for a penny,

And if they got any

Their faces would look so surprised!

I remember remember the fifth of November

The sparklers we'd all whizz around

We'd write in the air

Avoiding our hair

Then toss them burnt out, on the ground

I remember remember the fifth of November

The rockets would fly way up high!

The bonfire was huge;

Heat making us rouge

With excitement you'd hear us all cry

I remember remember the fifth of November

The colours as bright as the sun.

Fireworks popped and whizzed

And sparkled and fizzed

Oh those nights were such fun!

©Carolyn Davison 2011 (written 31st October 2011)

Shallow Life

Your life is as shallow as a half dug grave;
With your smoking and your drinking and your drug-filled raves!
You think you're cool with your body full of rings,
With your implanted horns and the trash that you sing!

Your life's in the gutter - as base as can be;
With your swearing and your sex-talk and your blas-phem-y!
You think you're cool with your breasts hanging out
With your mouth so vile as you scream and shout!

Your life is like rubbish that rots on a tip;
With your drinking binges, and your big fat spliff!
You think you're cool when you're high as a kite
When you go down the town and you start some fights!

Your life will end in a lonely, black grave;
Cos of your smoking and your drinking and your drug filled raves!
Nothing left behind but your bones and your rings,
Implanted horns, but no songs to sing

Deeper than the gutter - your coffin will be
No more swearing, no more sex-talk, no more blas-phem-y
No more low cut clothes with your breasts hanging out.
Silence, just silence, you won't scream or shout!

Your body will rot like rubbish on a tip;
Your time is done, like your burnt out spliff.
No more highs; no flying like a kite,
No more town trips and no more fights.



©Carolyn Davison 2011